Lunch time

1200
The preceding hour has passed quite uneventfully.  I've reflected on the idea of having some kind of utility belt with tricks or stories or talking aids in order to connect with the kids better… perhaps i 'm just looking for an excuse to have a utility belt!

1210
The library has transformed into a child-run stationary shop (I MUST spend less time in the Staff room!!).  It is very enterprising and somewhat similar to watching an episode of The Apprentice as the group of children re-arrange each others displays and pluck pricing plans out of thin air - nothing exceeds 20p.

1215
Its Lunchtime.  Having been invited to lunch by one of the boys earlier i go to the school hall to find him. I can't so i decide to sit with some children and move through the hall.  I manage 1 table out of 36.

1245
Second sitting and my lunch date arrives - all the other children are really jealous.  We have some great chats mainly about food and birthdays, we also play wink murder …this includes a new twist on the game where the inspector is also the murderer: surprisingly this works quite well

As the hall empties i get chatting to three girls on another table, they have decided to run a cake stall to raise money for me - God bless them :-)

At the end of lunch i help the dinner ladies tidy but get asked to leave for being too "efficient"!!

Caring Conversations

Tomorrow i go in for my 2nd day as a Chaplain.  I did some prep this evening by attending a 'caring conversation' course.

We spent some time chatting around listening skills an then had a practice.  I felt pleased with myself in that i took on the SOLER technique easily - Square On, Open Posture, Leaning Forward, Eye Contact, Relaxed.

I was completely undistracted by noises around us, and i book-ended the conversation by welcoming my 'client' into it and then later explaining we were going to wrap up and thanking her for the time together - something i noticed our trainer do.

I was terrible though at understanding the direction of the conversation, i felt adrift and confused, should i lead? should I be led?  What if we go somewhere weird? What if we go no-where?!

The structure of Exploration:Understanding:Action was suggested, so i will try and employ this with the children…

Watch this space

The School Counsellor

During my first morning at school I was directed toward the school counsellor since our work could well be complimentary - i sincerely hope it will be (not least because if we were competitive, i would DEFINITELY lose, the counsellors work is exceptional!)

Three days a week Diane the counsellor sits in the above space "not mine" she says "this is the children's space".  Originally Diane had been a basic support TA, but after finding herself more and more drawn into pastoral situations, she proposed a job change and no-one has ever looked back. 

The children can come and visit Diane anytime they like, to share whatever is on their mind - one had already come to her for the first 25 min of the first day of term because they'd lost their uncle over the Easter (I would like to stress this is NOT at all related to my earlier story).

In addition to the open visits, Diane has 7 other children scheduled in for today.

In the picture above you can see No-Face Nigel who helps the children to express how they are feeling.  Opposite Nigel is one child's goodbye tree that he has been working on all year.  The whole tree has been made by him and added to with various thoughts and items to say goodbye to his Dad (this is the third death i've encountered in 2 hours).  It also contains blank thoughts for other children who have lost someone or something.  The White notice reads "This tree is cursed.  Do Not Touch.  CCTV is watching you" - The lad has set up a shoe box with a felt-tip lens pointing at the tree.

Unseen to you are about 10-20 'worry pots' hidden around the area.  If a child has a worry they can write it down and put it in the worry pot until they feel like getting it out.  The children hide the pot where-ever they like, Diane has no involvement in that side and doesn't touch them til the children are ready.

All this impresses me a great deal, and reminds me that talking is not the best way to express emotion.  This maybe a problem for me as i'm a natural conversationalist, and my Chaplaincy role does not have a focal point like Diane's meeting place.

…where does this leave me?

Wet Play

1020
Assembly started 5 minutes ago but i'd lost track of time chatting with a teacher so crept in as inconspicuously as i could manage.  When i was a child wet play was one of the worst things that could happen, but here there was a chorus of "yessssssssssss" when it was announced.
I returned to my new-found door holding ministry as the children left assembly, this clashed slightly with a teacher telling all the children to be quiet but nevermind.  I was invited to lunch by one boy, which i accepted.

A few children have got '4 points' wrist bands on; on girl stops to tell me about hers (pink obviously): "God loves us, I have sinned, Jesus died for me, You got to make a decision"

I really don't like theological paradigms that force children to make 'decisions' so i ask : "what do you have to decide?"
"Whether to do the wrong thing or the right thing"comes the answer.

This is interesting to me as i'm sure that the actual decision in this model s whether to follow Jesus or not, otherwise, what is distinctly Christian about it?! (this is not a thought i share with the girl)

1030
This is it!  finally the moment to hang out with children.  I walk into the first classroom i can find and start chatting to group of girls drawing pictures of dogs.  Before i get to chat very much with them an understandably confrontational TA asks who I am and what i'm doing! (Lesson learned here - must say hello to staff first!).
The classrooms have linking doors and so i slowly make my way through the 3 classes of Year 3 children (ages 7 - 8).  Along the way i encounter a Jenga slide, toycar smash-up, K-Nex guns shoot-out but my favourite thing was three girls playing teachers, working out the lesson schedule for the remainder of the day (a lot of PE was involved, no maths)

1045
WHAT!?! Seriously?!!  Break time is over in no time at all and i've still 9 classes of children i've not visited.  Break time is not long enough!  I head to the library to chat with some children changing books - they take it in turns to be librarian, using the scanner to check in/out their own books.  4 points girl is there and we chat more about her favourite books and what they smell like.

The Wanderer...

The initial hours of this project were pretty dense, so i'll be writing a few short, sharp snapshots of what happened - I hope that this will inform and inspire others into developing similar roles in their areas.  As the weeks go on I shall be getting more deep into theological and missiological reflections on the work.

0915

I decide to do a round on the corridors.  I'm deliberately not entering any classrooms as I do not want to be a distraction. Unfortunately, thats where all the children are so I have nothing to do except admire the wall displays - there are some great fabric banners telling the story of Macbeth but the most striking display is the GIANT bird hanging from the top corridor to the ground.

To be honest with you all the displays are delightful, also, peeking through door windows at happy children in the learning environment looks like the slickest of government TV commercials for becoming a teacher.

Upstairs i finally find some children in the corridor, but they're doing a maths test so i walk on by.

0925
In the Staffroom i have a chat with the caretaker who is setting up the emergency urn (the hot water dispenser has broken).  Not entirely sure what common ground we might have to talk about I settle on whether or not he has a power-tools budget.  He doesn't.

0930
Decide to do another round of the corridors; this time I'm getting jokey comments about "Loitering with intent" - in an environment full of vulnerable children i'm a little concerned that the fine line between 'jokey' and 'weird/worrying' is much closer than normal so i try to explain what i'm doing.  I garble some rubbish about "intentional befriending" and realise i really need to work on my laymen's terminology.

I find a little tucked away corner which is strewn with an exceptionally random assortment of paraphernalia; its the Counsellor's office.  The Counsellor is a WONDERFUL lady with a load of great ideas for helping children express themselves.  I'll write about her later…

0955
Bump into the Headteacher, I explain about my failed joke earlier and all is fine.  The Head has completely understood the experimental nature of what i'm doing as a Chaplain and tells me that she's just leaving me to it to do what i like - I feel so grateful and blessed to be given such a free rein!  I had deliberately picked this school because they are forward thinking and i have always had a good relationship with them, but even given that, this is a rare opportunity which i am extremely thankful for.

The First half hour.

It turns out that today is the first day back at school after the two-week Easter Break.  The whole of the school staff worked completely in sync with each other - it was an extraordinary sight to see.  I start every week with a team meeting of 3 of us and still end up bumbling about.  This school has 50 odd staff and 350+ children and slip into work seamlessly!

0840
I had planned to arrive at 0830, but the weather was terrible and i'd forgotten about the extra distance i was travelling across town so i ended up being ten minutes late.  Nothing like a good first impression (literally!)

I met the Head just coming out the staffroom; recalling a conversation with her before the Easter Holidays i quipped "You said that you're ALWAYS outside meeting the children for school yet at the first sign of rain your inside having a coffee".  This was meant as light-hearted banter, I don't know if it was received that way.  Nothing like a good second impression (!!)

0845
With zero clue what to do with my time i headed down the mostly empty corridor and quickly found my calling in life: the Door-holding Ministry.  It was brilliant, with lots of friendly "hello"s and "thank you"s.  Every single child (about 360) had either a sprouting sunflower plant or a gigantic homemade cardboard 'invention'…some had both.

The Head was also on door holding duty a little way up from me, and she was SO good at it, she really does have an incredible manner with the children (...I was a little envious).

0905
With every child in classrooms the school suddenly seemed empty again.  I don't know what to do, or what role to fill and i'm scared of stepping on peoples toes.  The school has existed quite happily without me for decades; I remind myself that i will take more than 25 minutes to find my niche!
I head to the staffroom and make friends with an ICT technician.

0910
I've forgotten the ICT technicians name already and feel guilty about this.  Its occurred to me that actually i know nothing about the daily rhythm of the school so I check the white board for events of the day; Assembly is at 1015.  Thats it.  Nothing else - not much help.

I have discovered that loitering near the 'sports vouchers' boxes is a great place to meet and chat with children.  A boy tells me that over his Easter he discovered a dead body, and took some pictures.  Turns out he's not being imaginative, the police have deleted his pics and he's not allowed to tell other children.  "Weren't you freaked out by that" I ask "No" is the response.  "I've played loads of computer games"

First Post, First Steps...

Tomorrow is the first day of my new project. I've been extremely excited about this, and it has been some time coming.


The project is Chaplaincy: For the next 15 weeks, every Wednesday I'll basically be hanging out at a local primary school trying to make myself useful (to be clear; 'local' means around Tonbridge, South East England)


For nearly ten years I have been visiting schools as a motivational speaker, telling Bible stories and encouraging children with the positive things of life. This has been a wonderful experience and I shall continue to do it. However, I've been concerned recently to do something more 'deep' with the children and so I'm trying this pilot project to see if my work can be more than just a flash in the pan.

A 'Chaplain' is a deliberately vague title in order to give me scope and freedom to do what I like(!). I know schools are very well geared up for education on the literacy/numeracy/etc front. They are also very good at behaviour management, being inherently "moral" communities and I'm also aware that the are very well established with counselling and intervention programmes, and so I shall not be getting involved in any of those formal things.


I believe that there is space for informal yet still intentional befriending, and I am attempting to find out what that might look like.


I am so very grateful to the school for allowing me to do this, I will keep an online diary letting the world know how it all goes…

Mike


PS. For the observant among you, yes I know tomorrow is not Wednesday! This first week is happening a day early.